And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Love, significance, and security. No matter who you are, or what your personal beliefs, or where you are from, or what nationality you may be, ALL of us desire those three things.
Within a marriage (a true, Biblical marriage i.e. one man and one woman), it seems that God has designed the husband to have a greater need for ‘significance’, while the wife is uniquely created with a deeper need for ‘security’. Both of course desiring ‘love’ first and foremost. It’s important then to be aware of your spouse’s desires and needs, and learn how to fulfill them in different and creative ways:
- Encourage and praise each other’s positive character traits,
- Respect the husband’s burden of responsibility,
- Respect the wife’s burden of taking care of the home,
- Give hugs/kisses/cards/flowers/gifts to the wife and tell her how much you love her,
- Develop mutual interests together,
- Listen with concern and interest,
- Share your true thoughts, feelings, and desires,
- Provide a peaceful home atmosphere and don’t let the children come between you or take sides with one of you,
- Take hold of and embrace your individual God-given responsibilities as the husband and wife,
- Schedule quality and quantity time alone together (‘date’ each other frequently away from the children),
- Make each other and your family your highest earthly priority.
Yes, the Lord is preeminent in everything! Absolutely! He MUST be right at the centre of a marriage in order for that marriage to work. But after this, comes your spouse and family. A spouse and family that HE has given to you.
So if you love God the way you say you do, then you will love, cherish, encourage and support your spouse and family (no matter how difficult it gets or fed up with each other you may get at times) in the way that He expects you to.